DEPPRESSED :(

Personal things may be difficult to explain but hurts others at most times then hurts you at the end. :"{ 

Before i entered KTT, i didnt know that i HURT a lot of people. It was out of my leagued to hurt others especially others are my FRIENDS :'(

Well, it was a personal issue i face upon myself even my besties i did not tell. I couldn't express anything to anyone at that time but to Allah almighty i cried upon to. I then set a goal to study and achieve the best i could at KTT so i wanted to be successful and keen on my studies. I tried striving and doing the best my brain could offer.

I wrote a text message that sounded like this.

"Assalamulaikum, dear beloved friends. Today is my first day i set out to enter the world as a college students. before i start my day today, i want to speak out the words that my heart hid and is being playing for quiet some time. I want to say how grateful i am to have met a friend like you. How grateful i am that Allah has sent you to be apart of my life.I love you guys deeply and emotionally. I also want to apologies for everything that i have done. I wish you guys all best the from the bottom of my heart. I hope one day we could contact each other again. But for now, I would not be using my number and my Facebook for a while. Wish me all the luck!

-Lots of Love Fatnin-

I never thought my message would hurt my friends a lot. I dissapeared from their life in two month. When i activate my Facebook and contacted some of my closest friends i could feel their aura of hateness and regret. They hated my doings and really felt betrayed. They thought i met new friends. They thought they were forgotten. They thought they were not good enough for me. They thought i was running away. They thought a lot of negatives thought about me. 

I found out while i was gone people came to find me. Asking for me. Trying to reach me. Some unfriended me, even block me from their Facebook. Some unfollowed me from twitter and wrote status about me. Some did not even have the heart to ask how i've been.

It made me so depressed that i wanted to tell them every single day that i really missed them. I'm not arrogant nor unfriendly or forgotten my friends but i must strive and focus on my studies. I have reasons for my actions and i have things that is why kept silent. 

I never thought my action would affect this much towards others. I'm just so sorry. There are too many of you that i could write about. If i have the time in this world to just be writing, i would spend my day talking about you guys. I'm just so sorry to abandon you all this while. I have my reasons and i hope that you would respect my actions.

 Its not that i won't contact you forever but just in the mean time let me be free and not be my old self?

Give me a chance to learn and  bond my heart back. I was thinking this Raya i would start to contact you guys again. But maybe that was too long for me to handle so i started activating everything. It shows that i could not stand for me to apart from my dearly beloved friends.

I wish it could all be normal. I hope that no heart is taken by my doings. Forgive me and Simply i'm SORRY. :

lastly. Just a plain SORRY to you.

-LOTS OF LOVE FATNIN- :'||