FINALS

Like Qhairyl said, its 3 more weeks till FINALS. yeah, who isn't nervous? Tell me. Let me see him/her.

Well, i am nervous, afraid, apprehensive, eerie and every single spine in my body tickles. 

Am i well prepared? or isn't the question is am i even prepared?!

I am so scared. I have a lot to cover. I need to study and really struggle. I still have that hopes to fulfill my fathers expectations. I am truly sad. Can i even reach the stage of DEKAN? Am i qualified?

Yeah i have plenty of time to study and i can totally reach that goal. But i am really afraid. I really want it so bad!!. Even though i am not passionate in SCIENCE, i am trying my best to love this stream i chose. It maybe my path to victory, my path to my life but now all i'm feeling is, CAN I DO IT? :/

Maybe its true. Strain yourself first then you can relax. So now i have to keep moving forward and have an inspiration to achieve my goals! :)

I CAN DO IT! ^.^

I'm not rough :/

I'm not saying i'm POLITE. Its just i am not rough. I do not like saying rude stuff or making rude reactions. Its not me. Its not Fatnin.

I don't seem to fit in with some of those people that tends to swear and gets cranky most times. I don't like listening to bad words or those babbling and criticizing others. It makes me really uncomfortable. If you know me i'm really sensitive. Not saying i'm nice and all, its definitely a NO-NO. But i just can't tear others to feel any pain from my action or words. I can bear if i'm in pain but i can't make others feel sad, angry or offended by me. 

Well, those that are close to me usually tends to be really rough but actually are not so rough as they appear. Like most sayings, never judge a book by its cover. That is definitely true! i may seem to be polite but who knows if one day I've lost my temper, i might scream my head out. haha That is only "IF" okeyyyy. ><

Well, i'm glad i have my ways. Those that are rough will turn out to be close to me and apparently they stop swearing and learn to be nice and smiles a lot. I'm glad they turn out that way. I'm happy that their anger issues are controlled and they are swearing less then before. It shows that finding the right friends are really important to shape you into a better person. :')

I have tried swearing and saying bad words but it doesn't feel right and i don't feel good about it. Not just its a sin but its also hurtful. I don't like the meaning if those words.  I am more out to compliment others than to swear and criticize. I'm not those who likes to find others weaknesses. Its just not Fatnin, because i know i have my weaknesses and everyone is not made perfectly. We are humans, we all stand on the same ground and breathe from the same air. So we have our ways. Moreover, Stupid and dumb maybe the words i use to swear if i get really cranky about something. I find it really offensive to swear. Its not that i hate those who tends to swear but its the words they use. Everyone is not perfect. I am not perfect :')

Don't look at others when you know you are wrong. Learn to be responsible on your actions rather to put a lot of weights on their backs. I know i am trying :)

GOOGLE

Google. Why does it need to give out too much information. :(

Well, believe it or not. I started knowing the advantages of Google since my friend told me about it. I learned that it uses a lot of will and courage to be assure to the situation against us.

Recently i discover some thoughts that i never thought i would never knew that i would. I shouldn't have got involve in the first place. Why did i start to search? Why does internet has a lot of information? why does Google even exist?

Its so crazy just to type in what ever your mind would want. Go beyond your thoughts and look into the details of those you want to know. How, the power of GOOGLE explored into the imaginary mind and made a home in there. Its so inspiring yet feared a lot in me. How we could know the detail of one's personal life by a single yet anonymous personal detail. Its just like what people have said, "Don't judge a book by its cover". yeah, I've learnt that now. 

In this world, there's nothing impossible i you don't let it be possible.

DEPPRESSED :(

Personal things may be difficult to explain but hurts others at most times then hurts you at the end. :"{ 

Before i entered KTT, i didnt know that i HURT a lot of people. It was out of my leagued to hurt others especially others are my FRIENDS :'(

Well, it was a personal issue i face upon myself even my besties i did not tell. I couldn't express anything to anyone at that time but to Allah almighty i cried upon to. I then set a goal to study and achieve the best i could at KTT so i wanted to be successful and keen on my studies. I tried striving and doing the best my brain could offer.

I wrote a text message that sounded like this.

"Assalamulaikum, dear beloved friends. Today is my first day i set out to enter the world as a college students. before i start my day today, i want to speak out the words that my heart hid and is being playing for quiet some time. I want to say how grateful i am to have met a friend like you. How grateful i am that Allah has sent you to be apart of my life.I love you guys deeply and emotionally. I also want to apologies for everything that i have done. I wish you guys all best the from the bottom of my heart. I hope one day we could contact each other again. But for now, I would not be using my number and my Facebook for a while. Wish me all the luck!

-Lots of Love Fatnin-

I never thought my message would hurt my friends a lot. I dissapeared from their life in two month. When i activate my Facebook and contacted some of my closest friends i could feel their aura of hateness and regret. They hated my doings and really felt betrayed. They thought i met new friends. They thought they were forgotten. They thought they were not good enough for me. They thought i was running away. They thought a lot of negatives thought about me. 

I found out while i was gone people came to find me. Asking for me. Trying to reach me. Some unfriended me, even block me from their Facebook. Some unfollowed me from twitter and wrote status about me. Some did not even have the heart to ask how i've been.

It made me so depressed that i wanted to tell them every single day that i really missed them. I'm not arrogant nor unfriendly or forgotten my friends but i must strive and focus on my studies. I have reasons for my actions and i have things that is why kept silent. 

I never thought my action would affect this much towards others. I'm just so sorry. There are too many of you that i could write about. If i have the time in this world to just be writing, i would spend my day talking about you guys. I'm just so sorry to abandon you all this while. I have my reasons and i hope that you would respect my actions.

 Its not that i won't contact you forever but just in the mean time let me be free and not be my old self?

Give me a chance to learn and  bond my heart back. I was thinking this Raya i would start to contact you guys again. But maybe that was too long for me to handle so i started activating everything. It shows that i could not stand for me to apart from my dearly beloved friends.

I wish it could all be normal. I hope that no heart is taken by my doings. Forgive me and Simply i'm SORRY. :

lastly. Just a plain SORRY to you.

-LOTS OF LOVE FATNIN- :'||

Meeting up with ANIS

I know my picture is upside down! It shows how happy i am to have met Anis Farzana! who is she??

This is her :

Yes. Very beautiful! she is one of my besties. We are not in the same school before yet we are so close. This is because we always tend to enter camps and scouts activities together. I miss her dearly. Its been two month i have not seen or contact her. I was so in a rush that i quickly throw on my baju kurung as it did not need ironing and put on my hijab. I did not care how messy i looked but i just care to arrive at her house! hehe 

I just came back from her house. One hour we chatt and talked. Its been like ages. She is now studying at Arau in Perlis, that is miles and miles away. She told me she's been home sick. Yes everyone is if they were that far. I miss her so much that i wanted to stay overnight talking to her and listening to stories!

Tomorrow she will be heading back to UITM in Arau. By her expressions, i can tell that she does not want to head back. WHO DOES?? well its called home sick. If i was her i don't think i'll be able to survive. With the will of studying she has to. Everyone here misses her, i know i do. 

While talking, i had the chance to play with her cat called Ayen. Her cat is suppperrrr CUTE!! cute and naughty indeed. haha even at night Ayen is very active. You would be surprise how active her cat is. haha

This is AYEN! Awww.. :)

I wish you all the best over there ANIS.Unfortunately talking and gossipping and just chatting i forgot to take a picture together. :'( but at least i could meet her before she leaves :( GOODLUCK okey! all the best! We will be missing you every second of the day! ^___^

Got a CUT :(

This was a cut from the laboratory. :(

It was at the lab science during biology. We had to do an experiment concerning our Cells and ways to detect using microscope. We were paired up with 5 groups. Each groups consist of two people. I was with kak Nina.

I had to Cut a slice of anions using a pen knife given. The pen knife was new. It had an aluminium cover. I had to take off the cover unfortunately my finger was on the tip of the knife. It was hard to open the cover therefore i accidently pushed the knife towards my finger. It was just a small cut but very deep.

I then silently went to the back of the lab while pressing my finger that was cut to wash it. I was scared that Miss Hazwani would get mad so i told no one but kept quiet. Unfortunately, i did not realise my blood was dripping along the floors and my classmates noticed my cut.

They then told Miss Hazwani and helped to clean my cut. They put a bandage on my finger and wrapped a tissue on top of it as the blood did not stop. It took a while for my blood to stop running.

They then told me to be careful and the experiment were done by my lab partner. :)

A Day at PUTRAJAYA

After our class ended at 4.00 pm. Nazrin, Sue, Nadhirah, Azlina and I went to Putrajaya. Our first destination was to visit Echa at Putrajaya's Hospital. Echa was my roommate. She had Denggi therefore a week she was kept at the hospital.

We went to visit her on Monday as it was her last day there. Not one of her friends came to visit her, therefore we wanted to look at her as it was her last day there. After a short visit, we headed to the Putrajaya's mosque. For Azlina and Sue, it was their first time visiting Putrajaya as they are from Sabah and Kelantan. Their first reaction was very funny and cute. They wanted to take pictures and mostly was amazed at the structures in Putrajaya. 

We performed our prayer of Asar. After that we headed to the bazaar in Putrajaya. It was very crowded and big. We bought drinks and some light food as we are breaking our Iftar at Putrajaya's Mosque.

After opening our Iftar we prayed Maghrib and Isyak. We then headed to downtown near Mines. It was at 12 midnight. We were in our "Baju Kurung" that time because we did not have the chance to change after class. It was very awkward because everyone payed their attention towards us. It was very funny to be teased. Mostly boys would say "wow, if my mother saw this they would quickly send for marriage proposal". 

At downtown we went to look for Pets. We saw Sugar gliders, Snakes, spiders, frogs and a lot. I had the chance to touch the snake. It was very scary but i really wanted to touch it. The owner then wrapped the snake around my hand. It was very scary but the best experienced! :)

At 2.00 am we headed home. It was very late indeed. We had a long trip home and arrived back at 3.30 am. It was very fun and exciting. Unfortunately, the pictures i could not upload. :(

FASTINGGG !

Fasting. :)

During this fasting month it does not affect much towards me. The first day of fasting i did not really had the feel that i used to have. I did not felt it was fasting month. Maybe i was far from my family. I miss eating with them and fighting with each other. :'(

My fasting month at KTT was alright. Our class was shortened. Meaning that each class for a period of time was only 45 minutes. This was due so that the students could take a break and prepare for their Iftar. I did not really felt very hungry during class most of the time. I was used to the situations. This is because i was taught to spend less during fasting as it could affect wasting when spending.

On Wednesday and Thursday i would often go to Bazaar. I would go with Nadhirah as she would always force me to tag along with Ina and Zalikha. The bazaar that i wold often go is near the Nilai's Stadium. 

At KTT i had not once prayed Tarawih. I would come home every weekend and performed my tarawih with my family at UKM's mosque. This was because we would have class during night time or even sometimes busy with our studies and of course there's the time that occurred the laziness in us. 

But, after all fasting is almost ending and i hope that i could continue my tarawih even at ktt. :)

With the Pra Diploma's

With the Pra-Diploma's ^__^

Diploma Science and Pra Diploma's aren't any different. Its just the same. We are all taking the same subjects. The only difference between us is that some of the students in Pra diploma's did not take any physics, chemistry or bio. Therefore they must have the basics of them. Plus, some of them might not get the best results and have to study again to get the best pointers. 

This year, the Pra diploma's or PD for short are lacking of behavior. When saying "lack of behavior" it means some of them are not acting as a Pra diploma's behavior. Some are rude and complain a lot. Some are just lazy to enter the class. So, with these behaviors, us as an AS students which is Diploma in science are not very welcoming to this behavior. Epecially the seniors that has a narrow precipitation towards them. 

Recently, this problem is dissapearing. Miss Halimatun is taking a serious action towards those who has problems and disobeying the lecturers. Those who are taking Pra diploma consists of only three girls, and six boys. The ones that started these problems are the boys. The girls infect are very welcomed. :)

In fact, i may be the most closest to the Pr diploma's. I am quiet attached to them as for Azlina is my closest roommate. I maybe not so close with some of the boys but i get along very well. There is no difference between us. Learn to accept and trust. :')